So, I have pretty much been off the grid for the last month. I haven’t made any videos. I haven’t posted on Instagram, and I haven’t written anything on my blog. I’ve basically just been sitting in my room working on stuff to get certified to teach, which is a lot harder, longer, and more complicated than you think it would be. There’s like this 30 page document you have to write and submit along with two videos of yourself teaching, and that’s only one part of it. It really just takes so much out of you when you don’t have time to do the things you really enjoy and express yourself. Anyway, because of that, I’ve been incredibly busy and stressed which has affected pretty much everything else in my life, so I’m really happy to say that I finally got it finished and can get back to focusing on other things I enjoy doing like social media.
I have to say that all of that stress really took a lot out of me. I got to the point where I hated going to school everyday and having to interact with people. Since I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing, I had a really short fuse with just about everyone, including my family and my boyfriend. I had to force myself to get up in the morning and get ready for school, and there were days when I really just couldn’t and had to take personal days off to get myself mentally prepared for the next day. I know this sounds extreme, but a lot of stress can just turns you into a completely different person.
It was also worsened by the fact that I’m not 100% sure that teaching high school is exactly what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong. I usually love interacting with the students and seeing the pride on their faces when they understand something they previously didn’t, but teaching can be a really emotionally draining job since you always have to be on call for the students whenever they need you. I’m just not sure it’s what I’m supposed to be doing for the rest of my life.
For someone who likes to have everything planned out and orderly, this is a really scary thought. I’m graduating next semester, and I’m still not sure what I want my life to look like afterward. For some people, like my boyfriend, this is exciting. For me, it’s terrifying.
Luckily, I have a lot of people to support me through this, and I started to see a counselor so that I could talk through some things. By the way, I highly recommend seeing a counselor if you’re going through a major transition in your life, and it’s starting to affect you. It just helps me so much to be able to talk to someone and have them listen and talk you through it. I know that, for some reason, there’s a stigma associated with going to see a counselor, but there really shouldn’t be, and it definitely shouldn’t stop you from going. Everyone needs help now and then, even if they don’t want to admit it.
Anyway, moving on to happier things. For a while now I’ve been planning to go to India in December in order to meet my boyfriend’s family. Recently I finally bought the tickets, so it’s starting to feel a lot more real. I’m incredibly excited but also really nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been anywhere near India (I’ve only been to New Zealand outside of America), and although I know about the culture from my boyfriend, I still feel like I’m going to be in for a major culture shock.
I’m going to try to blog about the trip, so if you want to hear more, make sure to follow my blog!