2017 was such an exciting year for me. It was the year that I decided to start focusing on my dreams and what I wanted out of life rather than what other people wanted for me. I hopped on my first plane EVER and travelled to three different continents. My boyfriend and I started thinking very seriously about our future together and the life we want with each other. I started a Instagram and YouTube for A Hint of Spring. I finished student teaching, and I started my last year of college. I went bungee jumping for crying out loud!
It was exciting and scary and adventurous and amazing and terrifying and wonderful.
And then 2018 hit, and I was confident that I would be on the same adventurous path I started….only it didn’t happen in January. Instead of starting life with my boyfriend I’m still thousands of miles away from him. Instead of inspiring high schoolers, I’m back sitting in a lecture hall. Instead of following my dreams, I’m trying my best to pass my last few classes until I graduate.
It’s been a really strange time for me, and although it may seem like I’m complaining and my life sucks, I’m really not upset. It just feels….strange. It feels like my life was running at full speed, and now it’s just stalled, and I’ve found myself “playing the waiting game” until graduation day where major life changes will begin again.
I’ve never really been a fan of waiting. I would much rather just do what I need to do and be done with it. It seems like a waste of time, so I’ve been trying to find ways to make the waiting seem more meaningful. I’ve tried new hobbies. I’ve watched new shows. I’ve tried to find new inspiration, but nothing seems to make me feel any better about waiting for the next big moment in my life.
However, the more I’ve wished that the next big moment would arrive quicker, the more I’ve realized that I’m wishing my life away. Even though this waiting period in my life is still hard and somewhat annoying, it’s a part of life, and maybe it’s there to make the other moment sweeter.